You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
birth control should be required to get into college
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
