lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
