You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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