when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
