Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
