she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
