You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
