2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
