I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
