guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Even my vagina gasped.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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