He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
