Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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