why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize