I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
