Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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