I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
