she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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