tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
