Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
