dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
