Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
