you mean i was at the winter classic?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
