considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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