Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
