A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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