they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
