would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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