While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
