That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
