My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
