just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
