Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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