we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
