you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
