Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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