so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
