i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
