i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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