I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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