We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
