How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
