I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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