Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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