I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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