So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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