Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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(816): View more from Missouri

why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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(504): View more from Louisiana

If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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(210): View more from Texas

It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?

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