My friends, they love my intelligence
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
