We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
