i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
