he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
