If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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